No one enjoys being hungover and frankly, if hangovers didn’t exist we would be out partying a lot more.
But they do and they’re awful.
We’ve all been there and the same thing happens every time we go out… these are the stages of a hangover that have become way too familiar
1. Stuffing your face the night before
Okay so it’s 5am and you’re steaming, there’s nothing you can do about that. In an attempt to minimise the pain you will inevitably experience tomorrow morning you gobble down as much chicken, chips, burgers — or whatever greasy food you can get your hands on — as possible.
2. Waking up
You don’t remember falling asleep but here you are with grease wiped across your face, the smell of alcohol permitting from your mouth and arm pits, hair in a state and last night’s clothes sprawled across your room. You suddenly jump up to check how much money you spent last night and, of course, it’s way more than you should have. You rifle through your pockets to try and locate your phone and keys and you find them, ‘thank God’ you say to yourself. Then, all the memories from the night before come flooding back.
3. Going through the flashbacks
You can remember it all: the political debate with the stranger in the smoking area, singing in the bus, falling down the stairs outside the club. It’s hazy but you remember most of it. Butterflies begin to form in your stomach and you begin to regret. ‘I am never drinking again’ you say. We all know that’s not true.
Despite sleeping until 2pm you’re still exhausted so you grab yourself anything you can get your hands on to eat and ten gallons of water and head back to bed.
5. The resurrection
You’re awake again and feeling slightly fresher and more sober but still with a rather sore head. You chuck on some clothes and head downstairs to talk to your housemates.
6. The recap
Everyone begins to emerge from their rooms and down into the communal room to talk about last nights antics and he flashbacks become more surreal. The more you hear about what you did last night, the more you realise you can never show your face at uni again.
7. The craving stage
The conversation moves on from what happened last night to what everyone is going to order tonight. The phones come out the takeaway orders start rolling in.
No one else really wants to speak or move now the orders are in, so on comes David Attenborough while everyone waits for their food. Not a word is spoken between you all until the food arrives.
9. Gaining back strength
Time to chow down. You slowly begin to regain strength and sobriety with every bite.
10. Time to snuggle down
After the antics of last night and the energy it took recovering today you’re spent. Time to stick on Netflix in a dark room and chill.