People comparing where their unis have come in various league tables often amounts to what are pretty much glorified penis measuring contests.
To put an end to all of these, we decided to put together the definitive actual penis measuring contest.
Over the last few weeks, we’ve been getting a ton of responses in to our sex survey, which you’ve filled in telling us all sorts of things about your sex lives at uni. One of those things was penis size. So if anyone’s worried that they’ve got a small penis, keep reading.
We collated data from 1,134 respondents, to bring you a final ranking of which uni has got the students with the lengthiest penises in the land.
Some unis had far more respondents than others, so there were some institutions with a few particularly well-endowed students bringing up the average massively. Also, unsurprisingly, we’re pretty sure some people might have slightly over-exaggerated their manhood for the sake of the survey, so take that with a pinch of salt, too.
Now, enough dicking about here’s the list. Where did your uni come? All sizes are, unsurprisingly, given in inches.
Canterbury Christ Church University – 8
Cardiff Metropolitan University – 8
Birmingham City University – 8
Leeds Arts University – 8
Kingston University – 8
Northumbria University – 7.6
Glasgow Caledonian University – 7.5
University of Warwick – 7.5
Bournemouth University – 7.5
Heriot Watt University – 7
King’s College London – 7
Lancaster University – 7
Brunel University – 7
Aston University – 7
London Metropolitan University – 7
University of Southampton – 6.875
University of St Andrews – 6.8
Imperial College London – 6.75
University of Stirling – 6.75
University of Surrey – 7
University of Sussex – 6.75
University of York – 6.6666
University of the West of England – 6.6666
Edinburgh Napier University – 6.66
Leeds Beckett University – 6.6
Aberystwyth University – 6.5
Buckinghamshire New University – 6.5
Coventry University – 6.5
De Montfort University – 6.5
Nottingham Trent University – 6.416
University of Strathclyde – 6.4
Oxford Brookes University – 6.3
Loughborough University – 6.3333
Queen Mary’s University – 6.3333
Manchester Metropolitan University – 6.285
Cardiff University – 6.2
Edge Hill University – 6.2
University of Sheffield – 6.16666
Durham University – 6.166
University of South Wales – 6
Bangor University – 5.5
Newcastle University – 5.4
Norwich University – 5
University of Worcester – 5
Keele University – 4.333
Bath Spa University – 4
While some students may have been a bit more truthful about the size of their members than others, it should go without saying that size doesn’t actually matter.
However, despite this, 45% of men would like a larger penis, according to an online survey of 50,000 people by a consultant of sexual medicine, Prof Kevan Wylie from the University of Sheffield.
Speaking to NHS.uk, Prof Wylie said: ‘It may come as a surprise to some young men, but most women have very little interest in the size of their penis and that’s been shown in numerous studies over time.’
He added that people are much more interested in whether you are romantic, tender and sensitive to their needs, based on the conducted research.