The census only comes around every 10 years, so of course, as British people, we’re going to make the most of it. And by that, we mean make really really bad jokes about it. So here are the 10 funniest #AlternativeCensusQuestions from Twitter.

1. We just know that our Queen Tayce would have filled in the bottom one.

2. Absolute Radio hit us with a throwback, and now we can’t get it out of our heads.

3. We were really relieved that the rest of the internet felt like the questions were a bit detailed and intimate. We were worried too!

4. Glad they didn’t include this one. We don’t need to be called out like this.

5. And just when we’d got Human out of our heads…

6. So, what you’re asking is, in theory, how much wood, would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well…

7. Is this a threat or curiosity? Either way, a horse-sized duck would be TERRIFYING!

8. Nandos knows us well. Too well.

9. Honestly, it is the most asked question in the UK. We’re amazed it didn’t make it onto the census.

10. And finally, another earworm.