Old Kim Jong-un’s whipping up a bit of trouble at the moment, isn’t he?
Testing bombs here, threatening people there. It’s all a bit worrying.
But what happened if he did go full James Bond baddy and send a nuke our way? WOULD YOU EVEN BE ABLE TO MAKE LECTURES?
To find out, we used the incredible nuclear bomb simulator at nuclearsecrecy.com to see how unis would be affected if a nuke of 30 kilotons (the largest size the Dear Leader might have) dropped on the city centre.
University of Aberdeen
The whole of your campus would be blasted by thermal radius resulting in third degree burns — ouch.
The Robert Gordon University
You guys get the full force of the explosion, from buildings several damaged and even demolished, and a fatality rate of 100%.
The Penglais campus is in the air blast radius, which means the whole thing will be wiped out and people will get hurt and die.
University of Bath
Depending where you were on campus, you might be alright. However, if you’re on the west side you could be hit by the thermal radius probably leading to third-degree burns.
Bath Spa University
Sit back, stick on some sunnies and watch the spectacle. You’ll be absolutely fine.
University of Bedfordshire
Your building won’t get hit, but you will get third degree burns, so maybe skip that library session.
University of Birmingham
If you go to Uni Of, things are looking good. You’d be far enough away from the blast to be fine.
Birmingham City University
BCU later… Birmingham City is in big trouble. According to nuclearsecrecy.com, it would be hit by the air blast at 20psi — enough to demolish concrete buildings.
University of Bolton
Bolton’s campus is well and truly in the radiation radius, where between 50% and 90% of people die.
Arts University Bournemouth and Bournemouth University
Kick back and relax, you guys would be fine.
University of Bradford
You may want to skip that 9am as your campus is hit with the air blast, which means the buildings will be completely demolished.
University of Brighton
How badly affected you are depends on how close to the seafront your building is. Cockcroft seems fine, however, Grand Parade downwards gets increasingly worse.
University of Sussex
Sussex is literally miles away from Brighton — you’ll know that if you’ve ever taken the 25 to town. So you guys aren’t affected at all.
University of Bristol
Uh oh. If you’re at Uni Of, you’ll be hit by an air blast of 5psi. Injuries are ‘universal’ and fatalities are widespread. Even worse you’ll also be hit by radiation which will probably kill you if you don’t get medical attention.
UWE has smartly moved itself away from any immediate danger. It would be fine.
Canterbury Christ Church University
Your campus is right in the air blast zone, which means buildings are destroyed and people will get hurt — best to stay at home tbh.
University of Kent
This area will be hit with the thermal radiation, which will cause third degree burns — sounds painful, but it isn’t because the burns tend to kill off your nerves leaving you with no feeling. Cute.
Anglia Ruskin University
The building may still be standing but you will get hit with the radiation.
University of Cambridge
Okay so every school across Cambridge’s campuses are hit with the air blast. Ouch.
There’s some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you just miss the fireball radius. The bad news is that the air blast of 20psi will almost definitely leave you dead.
Cardiff Metropolitan University
Winning. Met is well outside the danger zone.
University of Chester
The air blast radius would hit your campus meaning most residential buildings collapse, injuries are universal, and fatalities are widespread.
University of Cumbria
Cumbria would be hit with the air blast, meaning residential buildings will collapse and people will get hurt.
Varsity would be very tough. Not only is Warwick unscathed but Cov’s pretty much gone.
Warwick’s cruising. It’s nowhere near the damage.
University of Derby
Derby it right in between two zones: the air blast radiation radius and thermal radiation radius so be prepared for smashed windows and third degree burns.
University of Dundee
This campus may see some building destroyed by the air blast as it’s in that radius there will also be plenty of injuries and fatalities.
The bomb will hit you guys hard, with damaged buildings, injuries and fatalities. Ouch.
The University of Edinburgh
The bomb sure will be painful. A lot of people at Edinburgh Uni will be killed by the air blast while all the residential buildings will collapse, destroying the beautiful city.
All’s good in the hood. Heriot-Watt’s Edinburgh campus is far enough out to be safe.
Edinburgh Napier University
Napier is so close to the thermal radiation that burns seems likely. Fingers crossed Napier students just get super powers instead.
Queen Margaret University, Edinburgh
Won’t you look at the smug students Queen Margaret. So far outside the danger zone they probably wouldn’t even know it had happened.
University of Essex, Colchester Campus
Kick back and relax guys, your uni wouldn’t be touched by the blast.
University of Essex, Southend-On-Sea Campus
Your campus will be hit with the air blast and radiation which means, smashed buildings and an exposure to radiation.
University of Exeter
Exeter is hit with the thermal radiation, which means third degree burns, which are often painless because of the nerves they kill.
All buildings would be completely demolished and everyone dies, so maybe it’s OK to skip a lecture or few.
University of Glasgow
Much like North Korea itself, Glasgow Uni is flirting with danger. It’s right on the edge of the thermal radiation radius which is likely to cause third-degree burns. Don’t worry they’re often painless… but only because the pain nerves are destroyed.
Glasgow Caledonian University
GCU is right in the fireball created should the nuke drop. Ouch.
University of Strathclyde
There’s a world of pain for those from Strathclyde Uni. The air blast will hit 20psi, enough to demolish heavily concreted buildings.
University of Gloucestershire
Get ready for the collapse of residential buildings and a fair bit of pain as you’re exposed to the radiation from the bomb.
University of Hertfordshire
OK so the buildings would be OK but, you would be exposed to thermal radiation which give third degree burns. Don’t worry though you wouldn’t feel a thing because it usually kills off all the nerves.
University of Huddersfield
Everything is destroyed, lecture halls, libraries, even the SU is just rubble on the floor. And most people would be dead. Doesn’t seem like a good idea to go to that 9am after all.
University of Hull
Luckily for you guys, campus is out just fat enough for most of it to not be affected, if you do experience anything it would just be a few broken windows.
University of Suffolk
Think collapsing houses, injured and dead people, but it’s not as bad as the people in the city centre, on the bright side.
You guys have got air blast and radiation to deal with which means buildings collapsing, people getting injured, some dying and third degree burns.
Edge Hill University
Be prepared for collapsed buildings, injuries, deaths, smashed windows, the whole shebang.
UCLAN is right in the heart of Preston, Lancashire, which means you guys are in the area of destroyed buildings and almost certain death.
Luckily for you guys, the campus isn’t anywhere near the blast.
University of Leeds
The air blast radius will cut off the south east corner of the Edward Boyle library, while the rest would be contaminated by radiation. Probably stay away from The Refectory for a while.
Leeds Beckett University
Damn, The Rose Bowl will be eaten up in a big fireball while the rest of Leeds Beckett will be destroyed in an air blast. You’d be alright if you were at the Headingly Campus though.
Mwahahaha. If a nuke really does hit Leeds city centre then Leeds Trinity will be the only uni to survive. Watch out for pro-Kim Jong Un propaganda coming from LTU’s Twitter feed.
University of Leicester
Third-degree burns for everyone at the Uni of Leicester, which will cause ‘severe scarring or disablement’.
De Montfort University
DMU will be struck by an air blast of 5psi, enough to knock down residential buildings. A lot of people would be injured.
Bishop Grosseteste University
You guys are getting hit with the radiation. No damage to the buildings but a 50% risk of death. Cute.
University of Lincoln
This campus is right in between the two air blast radii, so it’s safe to say exams would be cancelled.
University of Liverpool
Uni Of is smack bang in the middle of the radiation zone. You’ll certainly need to see a doctor. Thankfully, the hospital is just up the road.
Liverpool John Moores University
Sooooo close to missing the radiation zone, but JMU just falls inside. However, if you took a stroll along Oxford Street towards Grove Street you’d probably get away with just suffering from the radiation (you might need an amputation or two though).
Liverpool Hope University
It’s Hope Park’s time to shine. Being situated well outside the city centre means it is protected from the blast.
University of the Arts London
UAL is just on the wrong side of the 5 psi air blast radius, meaning its beautiful buildings will be levelled and its students killed unless they make a dash for the Penderel’s Oak Spoons nearby.
Birkbeck, University of London
Birkbeck is one of the many London unis stuck in the thermal radiation radius, meaning a very, very high likelihood of third degree burns, disablement and amputation. Sounds great!!
Brunel students are so far out of the blast radius we couldn’t even fit them into the map with it. They’ll probably have a pretty great view of the destruction. Who said living so far out of London was bad?
City University, London
Another uni in the capital which manages to avoid the blast completely. This might be a little close for comfort, but hey, as long as City students stay where they are, they should have nothing to fear! Except, ya’know, the post-apocalyptic world they’re now living in. But ignore that.
University of East London
Would you believe it, another uni in London which is completely fine? It’s starting to look surprisingly like London is your best bet for surviving in terms of sheer probability.
Goldsmiths, University of London
This is getting silly, now. Add Goldsmiths to the pile of unis where students can have a great view of nuclear armageddon occurring just out of range of them.
University of Greenwich
Once again, Greenwich students need not fear. Their uni is out of range, too, and they could even go and relax with some boating in the nearby Thames – if it’s not all dried out and radioactive, that is.
Imperial College London
Imperial students might have the best safe view yet – Hyde Park is sure to be full of smug people outside of the blast radius, gallivanting in the (nuclear) sun as their other London uni neighbours start succumbing to radiation poisoning. What fun!
King’s College London
Ahh, that’s more like it! KCL is firmly back in the 5psi air blast radius, meaning its unlucky students can look forward to universal injuries and widespread fatalities. Sounds nearly as bad as a night out at Roxy’s.
Well this is just taking the piss. Kingston students are so far away they probably won’t even hear the blast over the blaring music in Pryzm’s cheesy room.
London School of Economics
LSE students will suffer much the same fate as their King’s counterparts – get that aloe vera ready for those burns, guys.
London South Bank University
While LSBU students may escape the worst of the blast, they’re still in the ol’ thermal radiation radius zone, meaning they can get those rusty saws out of storage for soe good old fashioned amputation. Still, probably a more eventful night than going to Ministry of Sound.
Pffft. I guess all the times Middlesex students are mocked for not being at a ‘proper’ London uni are coming back to bite the central Londoners, as they are safely lightyears out of range.
Queen Mary, University of London
Another uni safely out of harm’s way. QMUL students can relax, get a tinnie and head over to Victoria Park to watch the, er, fireworks unfold.
Royal Holloway, University of London
We’d argue Royal Holloway are the biggest winners in this whole situation – not only are they miles away from the blast radius, they’ve also got a (presumably empty) Thorpe Park right next to them! What more could you want?
School of Oriental and African Studies
Unlucky SOAS students – while you’ll miss the worst of the damage, you’re still likely to get very, very burnt in the ensuing radiation radius. Like, third-degree burnt.
St Mary’s University, Twickenham
Another ‘London’ uni miles away from damage. They even have the nearby Richmond Park to go and check out some mutant deer, which would be a fun way to spend the time in post-apocalyptic Greater London.
University of Westminster
Oof, would you believe it, Westminster is just a few metres on the wrong side of the radiation radius. On the down side, you can expect between a 50 per cent and 90 per cent chance of death here. On the bright side, it can take anywhere between several hours and several weeks — woohoo!
UCL is another of the London unis in the thermal radiation radius. They might not be facing quite as unpleasant a fate as Westminster students, but they’ll still have plenty of fun scars and third-degree burns to contend with.
University of West London
The West Londoners are another uni so far away from the action that we could barely squeeze them into a photo featuring the blast radius. Have fun watching from Gunnersbury Park, guys!
The main part of the uni, including the sport centre, would be hit hard with collapsing buildings and exposure to radiation which could cause slow and painful deaths.
University of Manchester
Oof, it’s a close one, but Uni Of Manchester is situated just outside the radiation radius and in the thermal radiation radius zone. What does this mean for you lucky Mancunians? Well it’s not great news, really. Third-degree burns will extend throughout layers of your skin, but on the bright side, this will be painless because it will destroy your pain nerves! Woohoo!
Manchester Metropolitan University
Students at MMU are firmly in the 5psi air blast radius zone, just close enough to the blast to lament the destruction of their buildings and the death of most of their group as they watch their Uni Of neighbours suffer a slightly less horrific fate.
University of Salford
Lucky Salford students! Also being right at the edge of the thermal radiation radius, it’s another case of 100 per cent likelihood of third degree burns and scarring, which is still better than death. Just about.
It will get pretty hot around campus for Uni Of students, as the uni is situated just on the wrong side of the fireball radius. Everyone and everything is very much a goner at this point, so it may be time to move out of the centre if you hear those sirens a-ringing…
Oof, Northumbria is teetering on the edge between two air blast radius zones – one at 20 psi and one at 5 psi. For people on the former side of the radius, unlucky – you’re probably dead. But hey, people on the east side of campus can rejoice, as it’s only slightly probably that you’re dead!
University of South Wales
Newport is such a small city, which means that you lot are right in the air blast radius, where heavy built buildings will collapse, and fatalities approach 100%.
University of Northampton
Avenue Campus is pretty much fucked, as it’s right in the thermal radiation radius which means third degree burns. Whereas Northampton Park Campus can expect nothing more than a few smashed windows.
University of East Anglia
You guys won’t get affected, so chill TF out.
University of Nottingham
Uni Of students will have more ammo in their arsenal when gloating to Trent students, as they’ll be completely safe, outside of the blast area, whereas Trent students will be, err, not so much…
Nottingham Trent University
In fact, their uni is very much within the air blast radius zone, with the blast itself hitting 20 psi of pressure. Fun!
University of Oxford
Well, it may be one of the top unis in the country for education but it certainly isn’t that great for nuclear bomb avoidance as it’s right in the air blast radius where buildings will be severely damaged and fatalities will approach 100%. That should be a comfort to anyone who didn’t get in to Oxford.
Oxford Brookes University
So you guys won’t get hit as bad as Oxford but you will get hit with some thermal radiation which will result in third degree burns.
Being right in the heart of the city, Plymouth gets the full force of the explosion including collapsing of buildings and almost 100% fatalities.
University of St Mark and St John
You’re nowhere near the blast — relax.
University of Portsmouth
Pompey is so far out the city centre all you guys will notice is a few shattered windows.
University of Reading
You’ll experience a few shattered windows, that’s about it.
University of Sheffield
Sheffield Uni is at the far edge of the air blast radius, meaning most buildings will be flattened and injuries will abound for everyone who’s unfortunate enough to be there. But hey, at least death isn’t certain!
Sheffield Hallam University
Uh oh – about half of Hallam’s city campus will be consumed by the fireball, where the power of the nuke is at its height. The further out towards Sheffield Station you live, the better, but you’re still a goner if you go to Hallam.
University of Southampton
You won’t experience anything apart from a few broken windows, oh and a huge flash of light.
Collapse of buildings and multiple fatalities: you may wanna skip that lecture.
University of St Andrews
Just as well Prince William and Kate Middleton’s time at this uni is over because if a nuclear bomb were to hit, there would be total choas and half of the campus would get frazzled by a fire ball.
Amazingly, Swansea University students will be completely unharmed if the bomb drops in the centre of the city. First the beach, now safety from nuclear strikes – where will the perks end?
University of Wales, Trinity Saint David
There’s good news and there’s bad news. The good news is, you just escape the fireball radius! The bad news is that you’re well within the air blast radius, with fatalities approaching, er, 100 per cent. Yikes.