If North Korea dropped a nuclear bomb, would your uni survive?

Old Kim Jong-un’s whipping up a bit of trouble at the moment, isn’t he?

Testing bombs here, threatening people there. It’s all a bit worrying.

But what happened if he did go full James Bond baddy and send a nuke our way? WOULD YOU EVEN BE ABLE TO MAKE LECTURES?

To find out, we used the incredible nuclear bomb simulator at nuclearsecrecy.com to see how unis would be affected if a nuke of 30 kilotons (the largest size the Dear Leader might have) dropped on the city centre.

Aberdeen

University of Aberdeen

aberdeen-nuclear-bomb


The whole of your campus would be blasted by thermal radius resulting in third degree burns — ouch.

The Robert Gordon University

robert-gordon-nuclear


You guys get the full force of the explosion, from buildings several damaged and even demolished, and a fatality rate of 100%.

Aberystwyth

Aberystwyth University

aberyswyth-nuclear-bomb


The Penglais campus is in the air blast radius, which means the whole thing will be wiped out and people will get hurt and die.

Bath

University of Bath

bathuni


Depending where you were on campus, you might be alright. However, if you’re on the west side you could be hit by the thermal radius probably leading to third-degree burns.

Bath Spa University

bath


Sit back, stick on some sunnies and watch the spectacle. You’ll be absolutely fine.

Bedfordshire

University of Bedfordshire

bedfordshire-uni-nuclear


Your building won’t get hit, but you will get third degree burns, so maybe skip that library session.

Birmingham

University of Birmingham

birmingham


If you go to Uni Of, things are looking good. You’d be far enough away from the blast to be fine.

Birmingham City University

birm city uni


BCU later… Birmingham City is in big trouble. According to nuclearsecrecy.com, it would be hit by the air blast at 20psi — enough to demolish concrete buildings.

Bolton

University of Bolton

university-of-bolton-nuclear


Bolton’s campus is well and truly in the radiation radius, where between 50% and 90% of people die.

Bournemouth

Arts University Bournemouth and Bournemouth University

arts-uni-bournemouth-nuclear


Kick back and relax, you guys would be fine.

Bradford

University of Bradford

university-of-bradford-nuclear


You may want to skip that 9am as your campus is hit with the air blast, which means the buildings will be completely demolished.

Brighton

University of Brighton

brighton-uni-nuclear


How badly affected you are depends on how close to the seafront your building is. Cockcroft seems fine, however, Grand Parade downwards gets increasingly worse.

University of Sussex

sussex-uni-nuclear


Sussex is literally miles away from Brighton — you’ll know that if you’ve ever taken the 25 to town. So you guys aren’t affected at all.

Bristol

University of Bristol

bristoluni


Uh oh. If you’re at Uni Of, you’ll be hit by an air blast of 5psi. Injuries are ‘universal’ and fatalities are widespread. Even worse you’ll also be hit by radiation which will probably kill you if you don’t get medical attention.

UWE Bristol

uwe


UWE has smartly moved itself away from any immediate danger. It would be fine.

Canterbury

Canterbury Christ Church University

canterbury-christ-church-nuclear


Your campus is right in the air blast zone, which means buildings are destroyed and people will get hurt — best to stay at home tbh.

University of Kent

university-of-kent-nuclear


This area will be hit with the thermal radiation, which will cause third degree burns — sounds painful, but it isn’t because the burns tend to kill off your nerves leaving you with no feeling. Cute.

Cambridge

Anglia Ruskin University

cambridge-nuclear-anglia-ruskin


The building may still be standing but you will get hit with the radiation.

University of Cambridge

cambridge-university-nuclear-bomb


Okay so every school across Cambridge’s campuses are hit with the air blast. Ouch.

Cardiff

Cardiff University

cardiff uni


There’s some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you just miss the fireball radius. The bad news is that the air blast of 20psi will almost definitely leave you dead.

Cardiff Metropolitan University

cardiffmet


Winning. Met is well outside the danger zone.

Chester

University of Chester

chester-university-nuclear


The air blast radius would hit your campus meaning most residential buildings collapse, injuries are universal, and fatalities are widespread.

Carlisle

University of Cumbria

cambria-uni-nuclear


Cumbria would be hit with the air blast, meaning residential buildings will collapse and people will get hurt.

Coventry

Coventry University

coventry


Varsity would be very tough. Not only is Warwick unscathed but Cov’s pretty much gone.

Warwick University

warwick


Warwick’s cruising. It’s nowhere near the damage.

Derby

University of Derby

derby-university-nuclear

Derby it right in between two zones: the air blast radiation radius and thermal radiation radius so be prepared for smashed windows and third degree burns.

Dundee

University of Dundee

dundee-university-nuclear

This campus may see some building destroyed by the air blast as it’s in that radius there will also be plenty of injuries and fatalities.

Durham

Durham University

durham-uni-nuclear

The bomb will hit you guys hard, with damaged buildings, injuries and fatalities. Ouch.

Edinburgh

The University of Edinburgh

edinburgh

The bomb sure will be painful. A lot of people at Edinburgh Uni will be killed by the air blast while all the residential buildings will collapse, destroying the beautiful city.

Heriot-Watt University

heriotwatt

All’s good in the hood. Heriot-Watt’s Edinburgh campus is far enough out to be safe.

Edinburgh Napier University

edinburghnapier

Napier is so close to the thermal radiation that burns seems likely. Fingers crossed Napier students just get super powers instead.

Queen Margaret University, Edinburgh

queenmargaret

Won’t you look at the smug students Queen Margaret. So far outside the danger zone they probably wouldn’t even know it had happened.

Essex

University of Essex, Colchester Campus

university-of-essex

Kick back and relax guys, your uni wouldn’t be touched by the blast.

University of Essex, Southend-On-Sea Campus

essex-uni-nuclear

Your campus will be hit with the air blast and radiation which means, smashed buildings and an exposure to radiation.

Exeter

University of Exeter

university-of-exeter-nuclear

Exeter is hit with the thermal radiation, which means third degree burns, which are often painless because of the nerves they kill.

Falmouth

Falmouth University

falmouth-university

All buildings would be completely demolished and everyone dies, so maybe it’s OK to skip a lecture or few.

Glasgow

University of Glasgow

glasgowuni

Much like North Korea itself, Glasgow Uni is flirting with danger. It’s right on the edge of the thermal radiation radius which is likely to cause third-degree burns. Don’t worry they’re often painless… but only because the pain nerves are destroyed.

Glasgow Caledonian University

gcu

GCU is right in the fireball created should the nuke drop. Ouch.

University of Strathclyde

strathclyde

There’s a world of pain for those from Strathclyde Uni. The air blast will hit 20psi, enough to demolish heavily concreted buildings.

Gloucester

University of Gloucestershire

gloucester-uni-nuclear

Get ready for the collapse of residential buildings and a fair bit of pain as you’re exposed to the radiation from the bomb.

Hatfield

University of Hertfordshire

hertfordshire-uni-nuclear

OK so the buildings would be OK but, you would be exposed to thermal radiation which give third degree burns. Don’t worry though you wouldn’t feel a thing because it usually kills off all the nerves.

Huddersfield

University of Huddersfield

university-of-huddersfield-nuclear

Everything is destroyed, lecture halls, libraries, even the SU is just rubble on the floor. And most people would be dead. Doesn’t seem like a good idea to go to that 9am after all.

Hull

University of Hull

university-of-hull-nuclear

Luckily for you guys, campus is out just fat enough for most of it to not be affected, if you do experience anything it would just be a few broken windows.

Ipswitch

University of Suffolk

university-of-suffolk

Think collapsing houses, injured and dead people, but it’s not as bad as the people in the city centre, on the bright side.

Keele

Keele University

keele-uni-nunclear

You guys have got air blast and radiation to deal with which means buildings collapsing, people getting injured, some dying and third degree burns.

Lancashire

Edge Hill University

edge-hill-uni

Be prepared for collapsed buildings, injuries, deaths, smashed windows, the whole shebang.

UCLAN

uclan-nuclear

UCLAN is right in the heart of Preston, Lancashire, which means you guys are in the area of destroyed buildings and almost certain death.

Lancaster

Lancaster University

lancaster-uni-nuclear

Luckily for you guys, the campus isn’t anywhere near the blast.

Leeds

University of Leeds

leeds uni

The air blast radius will cut off the south east corner of the Edward Boyle library, while the rest would be contaminated by radiation. Probably stay away from The Refectory for a while.

Leeds Beckett University

leedsbeckett

Damn, The Rose Bowl will be eaten up in a big fireball while the rest of Leeds Beckett will be destroyed in an air blast. You’d be alright if you were at the Headingly Campus though.

Leeds Trinity

leedstrinity

Mwahahaha. If a nuke really does hit Leeds city centre then Leeds Trinity will be the only uni to survive. Watch out for pro-Kim Jong Un propaganda coming from LTU’s Twitter feed.

Leicester

University of Leicester

uniofleicester

Third-degree burns for everyone at the Uni of Leicester, which will cause ‘severe scarring or disablement’.

De Montfort University

DMU

DMU will be struck by an air blast of 5psi, enough to knock down residential buildings. A lot of people would be injured.

Lincoln

Bishop Grosseteste University

bishop-grosseteste-nuclear

You guys are getting hit with the radiation. No damage to the buildings but a 50% risk of death. Cute.

University of Lincoln

lincoln-uni-nuclear

This campus is right in between the two air blast radii, so it’s safe to say exams would be cancelled.

Liverpool

University of Liverpool

liverpool

Uni Of is smack bang in the middle of the radiation zone. You’ll certainly need to see a doctor. Thankfully, the hospital is just up the road.

Liverpool John Moores University

liverpooljohnmoores

Sooooo close to missing the radiation zone, but JMU just falls inside. However, if you took a stroll along Oxford Street towards Grove Street you’d probably get away with just suffering from the radiation (you might need an amputation or two though).

Liverpool Hope University

liverpoolhope

It’s Hope Park’s time to shine. Being situated well outside the city centre means it is protected from the blast.

London

University of the Arts London

university arts london

UAL is just on the wrong side of the 5 psi air blast radius, meaning its beautiful buildings will be levelled and its students killed unless they make a dash for the Penderel’s Oak Spoons nearby.

Birkbeck, University of London

birkbeck

Birkbeck is one of the many London unis stuck in the thermal radiation radius, meaning a very, very high likelihood of third degree burns, disablement and amputation. Sounds great!!

Brunel University

brunel

Brunel students are so far out of the blast radius we couldn’t even fit them into the map with it. They’ll probably have a pretty great view of the destruction. Who said living so far out of London was bad?

City University, London

city

Another uni in the capital which manages to avoid the blast completely. This might be a little close for comfort, but hey, as long as City students stay where they are, they should have nothing to fear! Except, ya’know, the post-apocalyptic world they’re now living in. But ignore that.

University of East London

university of east london

Would you believe it, another uni in London which is completely fine? It’s starting to look surprisingly like London is your best bet for surviving in terms of sheer probability.

Goldsmiths, University of London

goldsmiths

This is getting silly, now. Add Goldsmiths to the pile of unis where students can have a great view of nuclear armageddon occurring just out of range of them.

University of Greenwich

greenwiich

Once again, Greenwich students need not fear. Their uni is out of range, too, and they could even go and relax with some boating in the nearby Thames – if it’s not all dried out and radioactive, that is.

Imperial College London

imperial

Imperial students might have the best safe view yet – Hyde Park is sure to be full of smug people outside of the blast radius, gallivanting in the (nuclear) sun as their other London uni neighbours start succumbing to radiation poisoning. What fun!

King’s College London

kings

Ahh, that’s more like it! KCL is firmly back in the 5psi air blast radius, meaning its unlucky students can look forward to universal injuries and widespread fatalities. Sounds nearly as bad as a night out at Roxy’s.

Kingston University

kingston

Well this is just taking the piss. Kingston students are so far away they probably won’t even hear the blast over the blaring music in Pryzm’s cheesy room.

London School of Economics

lse

LSE students will suffer much the same fate as their King’s counterparts – get that aloe vera ready for those burns, guys.

London South Bank University

lsbu

While LSBU students may escape the worst of the blast, they’re still in the ol’ thermal radiation radius zone, meaning they can get those rusty saws out of storage for soe good old fashioned amputation. Still, probably a more eventful night than going to Ministry of Sound.

Middlesex University

middlesex

Pffft. I guess all the times Middlesex students are mocked for not being at a ‘proper’ London uni are coming back to bite the central Londoners, as they are safely lightyears out of range.

Queen Mary, University of London

QMUL

Another uni safely out of harm’s way. QMUL students can relax, get a tinnie and head over to Victoria Park to watch the, er, fireworks unfold.

Royal Holloway, University of London

rhul

We’d argue Royal Holloway are the biggest winners in this whole situation – not only are they miles away from the blast radius, they’ve also got a (presumably empty) Thorpe Park right next to them! What more could you want?

School of Oriental and African Studies

soas

Unlucky SOAS students – while you’ll miss the worst of the damage, you’re still likely to get very, very burnt in the ensuing radiation radius. Like, third-degree burnt.

St Mary’s University, Twickenham

st marys

Another ‘London’ uni miles away from damage. They even have the nearby Richmond Park to go and check out some mutant deer, which would be a fun way to spend the time in post-apocalyptic Greater London.

University of Westminster

westminster

Oof, would you believe it, Westminster is just a few metres on the wrong side of the radiation radius. On the down side, you can expect between a 50 per cent and 90 per cent chance of death here. On the bright side, it can take anywhere between several hours and several weeks — woohoo!

UCL

UCL

UCL is another of the London unis in the thermal radiation radius. They might not be facing quite as unpleasant a fate as Westminster students, but they’ll still have plenty of fun scars and third-degree burns to contend with.

University of West London

west london

The West Londoners are another uni so far away from the action that we could barely squeeze them into a photo featuring the blast radius. Have fun watching from Gunnersbury Park, guys!

Loughborough

Lougborough University

loughborough-uni-nuclear

The main part of the uni, including the sport centre, would be hit hard with collapsing buildings and exposure to radiation which could cause slow and painful deaths.

Manchester

University of Manchester

manc

Oof, it’s a close one, but Uni Of Manchester is situated just outside the radiation radius and in the thermal radiation radius zone. What does this mean for you lucky Mancunians? Well it’s not great news, really. Third-degree burns will extend throughout layers of your skin, but on the bright side, this will be painless because it will destroy your pain nerves! Woohoo!

Manchester Metropolitan University

man met

Students at MMU are firmly in the 5psi air blast radius zone, just close enough to the blast to lament the destruction of their buildings and the death of most of their group as they watch their Uni Of neighbours suffer a slightly less horrific fate.

University of Salford

salford

Lucky Salford students! Also being right at the edge of the thermal radiation radius, it’s another case of 100 per cent likelihood of third degree burns and scarring, which is still better than death. Just about.

Newcastle

Newcastle University

newc

It will get pretty hot around campus for Uni Of students, as the uni is situated just on the wrong side of the fireball radius. Everyone and everything is very much a goner at this point, so it may be time to move out of the centre if you hear those sirens a-ringing…

Northumbria University

northumbria

Oof, Northumbria is teetering on the edge between two air blast radius zones – one at 20 psi and one at 5 psi. For people on the former side of the radius, unlucky – you’re probably dead. But hey, people on the east side of campus can rejoice, as it’s only slightly probably that you’re dead!

Newport

University of South Wales

university-of-south-wales-newport-nuclear

Newport is such a small city, which means that you lot are right in the air blast radius, where heavy built buildings will collapse, and fatalities approach 100%.

Northampton

University of Northampton

northampton-uni-nuclear
northampton-uni-nuclear1

Avenue Campus is pretty much fucked, as it’s right in the thermal radiation radius which means third degree burns. Whereas Northampton Park Campus can expect nothing more than a few smashed windows.

Norwich

University of East Anglia

east-anglia-nuclear

You guys won’t get affected, so chill TF out.

Nottingham

University of Nottingham

nottingham

Uni Of students will have more ammo in their arsenal when gloating to Trent students, as they’ll be completely safe, outside of the blast area, whereas Trent students will be, err, not so much…

Nottingham Trent University

nottingham trent

In fact, their uni is very much within the air blast radius zone, with the blast itself hitting 20 psi of pressure. Fun!

Oxford

University of Oxford

oxford-uni-nuclear

Well, it may be one of the top unis in the country for education but it certainly isn’t that great for nuclear bomb avoidance as it’s right in the air blast radius where buildings will be severely damaged and fatalities will approach 100%. That should be a comfort to anyone who didn’t get in to Oxford.

Oxford Brookes University

oxford-brookes-nuclear

So you guys won’t get hit as bad as Oxford but you will get hit with some thermal radiation which will result in third degree burns.

Plymouth

Plymouth University

plymouth-uni-nuclear

Being right in the heart of the city, Plymouth gets the full force of the explosion including collapsing of buildings and almost 100% fatalities.

University of St Mark and St John

plymouth-marjon

You’re nowhere near the blast — relax.

Portsmouth

University of Portsmouth

portsmouth-uni-nuclear

Pompey is so far out the city centre all you guys will notice is a few shattered windows.

Reading

University of Reading

reading-uni-nuclear

You’ll experience a few shattered windows, that’s about it.

Sheffield

University of Sheffield

sheffield

Sheffield Uni is at the far edge of the air blast radius, meaning most buildings will be flattened and injuries will abound for everyone who’s unfortunate enough to be there. But hey, at least death isn’t certain!

Sheffield Hallam University

sheffield hallam

Uh oh – about half of Hallam’s city campus will be consumed by the fireball, where the power of the nuke is at its height. The further out towards Sheffield Station you live, the better, but you’re still a goner if you go to Hallam.

Southampton

University of Southampton

university-of-southampton

You won’t experience anything apart from a few broken windows, oh and a huge flash of light.

Southampton Solent

southampton-solent

Collapse of buildings and multiple fatalities: you may wanna skip that lecture.

St Andrews

University of St Andrews

st-andrews-uni

Just as well Prince William and Kate Middleton’s time at this uni is over because if a nuclear bomb were to hit, there would be total choas and half of the campus would get frazzled by a fire ball.

Swansea

Swansea University

swansea

Amazingly, Swansea University students will be completely unharmed if the bomb drops in the centre of the city. First the beach, now safety from nuclear strikes – where will the perks end?

University of Wales, Trinity Saint David

trinity st david

There’s good news and there’s bad news. The good news is, you just escape the fireball radius! The bad news is that you’re well within the air blast radius, with fatalities approaching, er, 100 per cent. Yikes.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *