The benefits to NOT going out in Sheffield

Attending raucous club nights, drinking to excess, and waking up most mornings with an aching hangover are all vital components of the infamous student night out.

For many new students, getting wasted until the early — or sometimes late — hours of the morning will soon form an integral part of the daily routine, and the typical Sheffield undergrad is no exception to this trend.

Most freshers embarking on the next stage of their life in the city of steel are going to find themselves, at various points in the university career, in such a state of inebriation that they are unable to remember where exactly in Endcliffe or in The Anvil they live and will declare a forbearing driver for City Taxis to be their best friend. I would be lying if I said that it’s not a rite of passage for most Sheffield students.

Having recently graduated from the University of Sheffield, I often find myself fondly reminiscing about those spontaneous nights out to Plug, the cheesy Pop Tarts Saturdays, the messy Tuesday club sessions, Leadmill Fridays, and, of course, a Wednesday night in Corp in all its repugnant glory. And who can forget: the Uni Of vs Hallam bar crawl. These are all thrilling nights out, providing a way to meet fellow students and get to know the city better in a merrily drunk (or totally wrecked) state.

Some Sheffield undergrads, however, prefer not to spend their mornings regurgitating their day’s neaks into a toilet bowl in a poorly-maintained bathroom in Crookes. These rare beings go instead for cosy nights in, film marathons, and more immersive, alcohol-free activities.

This is the side of student life that informative documentaries like Fresh Meat and The Young Ones don’t prepare you for: the anti-night out. Some students, more often than not, chose to spend their generally limited amount of cash on music and comedy gigs, movie marathons, and other fun-filled, more immersive activities.

The city is notorious for its nightlife, but I can think of more than a few reasons for avoiding its famous clubs. ‘But you’re wasting the best years of your life if you don’t go out,’ your friends, with an insatiable and baffling appetite for Quad Vods, will attest. ‘Alas,’ you will reply, ‘the splendours of Sheffield aren’t just confined to Corp.’

Not going ‘“out” out’ has a tonne of benefits for students, and the gem of South Yorkshire has loads of great alternatives for young adults in search of fun. You don’t need to endure the toils of Corp to experience the city properly!

The sticky floor of Corp ruins your shoes, the stench of Plug is almost painful, and sometimes Tuesday club can just be a bit too much. And if you think that sticking to certain bars while avoiding others will help you to avoid any nastiness, I have just one word: creeps. These lecherous villains will do all that they can to woo you — and if you’re young, impressionable and seem approachable, as most students are, then you are target number one. Serious tip of advice: stay among friends in clubs at all times.

Aside from the seedy gropers and the far-reaching unpleasant aroma they all seem to possess, the biggest downside of Sheffield nightlife comes from the never-ending rivalry between Uni of and Hallam.

Not only will your night be hopelessly ruined if you end up in a bar populated predominantly by students from the other side who will hurl as many uni-specific insults at you as they can, but the rivalry is so fervent and inescapable that you’ll end up being able to recognise a Hallam student from a Uni Of student on sight — and, whether you like it or not, it will influence your opinion of them. It happens in every student bar: two bright young things are merrily chatting away, until it is discovered that neither one comes from the same camp.

Suddenly, an awkward feeling arises in both parties, before each declare that they must be getting back to their friends, who will be wondering where on Earth they have got to.

See folks, Sheffield night clubs are awesome, but they can be places of division.
Going out comes with a whole raft of problems — problems most people would rather avoid. If you feel like swapping Corp’s questionably-cheap shots for a night in catching up on the latest episode of Rick and Morty, a pizza from Domino’s on West Street, and some cake left over from your recent trip to Marmaduke’s, I won’t blame you. Enjoy your hangover-free mornings and clean shoes (if you’ve visited Corp, you’ll know what I’m getting at).

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