Valentine’s Day. A day full of love, appreciation, and MANY cards! Being one of the easiest ways to convey how one is feeling, many turn to elaborate love letters within a card to make sure their partner knows how much they are valued. However, if you are looking to switch it up this year, after finding a new knack for comedy, you have come to the right place. After extensive research (I’m single I have the time) I’ve found the best Valentine’s Day messages that will either leave your loved one in fits of laughter or leave you slightly injured…either way it’s worth a shot!

I could only love you more if you brought me doughnuts on a semi-regular basis.

valentine's messages
Source: Delish

Let’s be real, who wouldn’t agree with this one? If you and your partner (or even if it is just you) has a bit of a sweet tooth, this is the perfect message to portray your love for them and their competition at the same time. If all goes to plan, you’ll have a semi-regular supply of doughnuts, so it’s a win-win situation!

You’re the one I text when I’m drunk if that isn’t true love I don’t know what is.

valentine's messages
Source: Unlock Food

Ah drunk texting, the classic love language. This is undeniably true as you drunk text the one you love (if you text your ex you might want to reconsider)! This is the perfect balance between laughter and romance, so if your partner does like a bit of cheese, this one has you covered.

I love you as much as Kanye loves Kanye.

Valentine's messages
Source: Hollywood Reporter

Basically, you think they are perfect.

Are you a dementor, because you take my breath away.

Valentine's messages
Source: Harry Potter Wikia

A Harry Potter reference can never go wrong, and if your partner does not know this, you guys might want to spend Valentine’s Day watching the Harry Potter movies (only a few years late to the party). If your partner’s favourite outfit is black, that is a cherry on top!

When people ask me what the best thing about you is, I say nothing. I don’t want them to fall in love with you.

Valentine's Messages
Source: Foodable Network

That is definitely a way to justify it, can’t risk it when that is the love of your life, right?

I miss you when you’re gone like I miss solitude when you’re here.

Valentine's Messages
Source: Imgur

This also is probably VERY true, but we’ll focus on the simile. A funny simile always lightens the mood while conveying the love between you too. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them, right?

I hope Valentine’s Day for you isn’t as shit as you are at answering the phone.

valentine's messages

This one hits different, perhaps because it is hilarious because it’s true! I’m sure many can relate to the latter part…whoops maybe we should start answering our phones.

Whether you choose to put a funny message in a Valentine’s Day card, or a sweet message, the undying love you have for your partner will always remain. The card is a mere symbol of the shared bond that promises to get stronger every day, including when you vomit, and they have to hold your hair back. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Last Updated on September 3, 2022