Spending any period of time abroad is bound to teach us a few things about life. I learnt these 10 key life lessons during my time in Rotterdam and, since returning for my last year in Manchester, I have reflected on what I gained during my time abroad. From solo travelling for the first time, to reconciling with the guilt of being away from home, these are the lessons I have deemed worth sharing. I hope they can help to guide any of you considering study abroad or assist in that reflection process for those having had similar feelings after returning home.
1. Time is abundant
The first life lesson I learnt quickly into my study abroad experience was that time is an abundant thing. It is not a commodity to be wasted, spend, saved or lost. Time is ongoing rather than running away from us. It can be easy to get stuck in an anxious loop – as young people we’re always probed to think about our next steps and where we want to be in life. The experience taught me a lot about being in control of how I use my time. The weeks leading up to my move to Rotterdam, I was very much in a mindset that I simply would not have enough time to do everything I wanted to do; to see all of the Netherlands, to make all the friends I wanted, to visit every museum and bike every lane.
Taking that detour through the new street on the way home from the shops, tacking on an extra 15 minutes to my walk while the sun was out was not a waste. I learnt that there does not need to be a ‘good’ enough reason to do something with my time. My time there, even the quickness of how six-months felt, was always longer than I pictured and there is always time for an extra adventure or to just to become more comfortable with how it passes by and how I chose to use it any which way I pleased.
2. Not everyone has to like me
Making friends on study abroad can be at times, humbling. Meeting new people in any scenario is unnerving, but study abroad was sometimes like a pressure cooker of people all together, there for their own personal reasons, with the same ‘time pressure’ to have “The Experience.” The life lesson here being that sometimes it doesn’t go the way we expect, but learning to be okay with that was a lesson in itself. Many different factors go into forming social connections like cultural difference, shared interests and common expectations. Seeing just how different this was from person to person showed me that it is okay to not want to be friends with someone. It is also ok for someone to not want to be friends with me.
Civility and humility is of course encouraged, but I eventually removed to pressure to be everybody’s best friend and be on the same level with everyone I met. I met a lot of people, from many walks of life, and everyone studying on the program has different expectations of who they want to spend their with.
3. Having a blank slate
I learnt about taking advantage of having blank slate. Even as I enter my third and final year of university, I learnt how important it is to give myself a fresh start anywhere I can. You will constantly be meeting new people but you are also in a new country where literally no one knows anything about you. This was one of the life lessons I learnt as i began to take more comfort in the act that I can share as little or as much with people as I what. Of course this could be a nice lesson regarding boundaries in life in general to be aware of how much you share with others within your realm of comfort. I think especially for study abroad the heightened excitement and experience of it all gave me more awareness of the kind of person I what to preset myself as.
It doesn’t necessarily be a completely different version of yourself, but being authentic and the best version of yourself in a ope environment is definitely something I will take into account more as i enter these these free less fixed spaces of social and academic life this years and coming into graduation.
4. Convenience ≠ less valuable
I think sometimes when you are abroad there can be loads of pressure to foster a sense of productivity all the time. Similar to number one, this life lesson taught me that just because something is convenient, doesn’t make it any less enriching or valuable to the experience overall. A lot of the time I would feel guilty for, for example, eating out or ordering food instead of budgeting all the time with cheaper supermarkets.
I remember creating this comfort food complex with this one brand of ramen in the shop right across from my accommodation. It cost about three euros more than what I could have found at the Dutch equivalent to Costco and buying in bulk. I kept putting it off finding the alternative because the convenience of it being right across the road, and making sort of a routine out of going to buy it became a staple for my overall comfort when grappling with being away form home. The value was still in the fact I had found something I could depend on, even if it wasn’t the best financial decision or the most creative option.
5. Money is meant to be spent!
This lesson is in keeping with the above point but the complex of guilt I felt whilst being abroad surrounding money in general. The Netherlands is marginally more expensive than the UK. I did my best in most areas with budgeting and being resourceful with travel discounts or making use of cheaper local markets. The life lesson I had to come to grips with is that money is there to be spent. Without sounding too flippant, because it is a huge privilege in the first place to even be able to go abroad, removing some of that guilt form myself was important. I can be very frugal at home and in university in the UK. The experiences I was having sometimes required a bit of extra spending or effort to validate my desires.
No, I probably don’t need to go to the pub on a Thursday afternoon, but I had been invited by people I liked and I wanted to sped time with them! Allowing ourselves to have fun and let go a bit is hard sometimes but the lesson here is not that money can buy happiness, but spending a couple extra euros for a pub quiz or sweet treats with new fiends can make a world of a difference.
6. Patience is a skill
The life lesson here is that patience is a skill rather than a virtue. Patience is also something we can lose when we are in an overstimulating environment dealing with new systems different to you home country. I had this a lot when it came to life admin like filing immigration forms, going to academic offices or waiting for responses to emails. There is a lot of life admin abroad but learning to become more patient became a skill and something that I had to remind myself of more. People are generally nicer, more forgiving, and willing to find solutions when you show them patience.
7. Study habits are important
Study abroad is lively, but it is also about…studying. A life lesson I learnt was that adapting my study habits was really important. I work really well in a busier environment like a cafe or library so I was surprised to see that most cafes in The Netherlands don’t allow laptops on weekends. It is nice to disconnect on free days but students need those spaces 24/7. I adapted my habits using online platforms like Studytogether.com. This allowed me to study together with people all over the world via chat rooms and focus rooms like zoom calls with flexibility on camera and audio settings. You can join any room and just listen to music or set timers and goals with others when theres deadlines to meet before afternoon plans on a Saturday.
8. Thrive in routine
Maintaining a routine is a life lesson that really helped me thrive on study abroad. It doesn’t mean I had every minute of my calendar booked up. It can be so simple as committing to one society that meets twice a week so that you know how you are breaking up you time. I committed to the dance society every week and also committed to at leats one new activity every other weekend like reading outside somewhere pretty instead of in bed. Something once a day that I could count on helped me feel more confident and settled, and even if it was small.
This life lesson also helped me build a sense of identity where I was still making consistent memories within my natural flow and capabilities week by week. Routine doesn’t mean that you do the same thing everyday, but it was a lesson in how setting small goals and being consistent reduced my anxiety and helped me set a starting point for the life I wanted to build in Rotterdam.
9. Do it for the plot
Probably the most fun of all my life lessons to share with you guys is the motto of “do it for the plot!” Now, I still agree that establishing a routine is important, but that doesn’t mean you can’t try new things. Doing something new or exciting that you are maybe even scared of can help expand your experience. As students we can get bogged down in taking ourselves too seriously. Sure, study habits and routine is important, but it was also a lesson to be curious and push my limits. I can attest that the key to coming away with good stories is by doing something the home version of you would never do (but has secretly always wanted to), like that five-aside football match I ended up in on a random Saturday afternoon…Long live Beercelona FC!
10. Spend time with yourself
The final life lesson to share is about spending time with yourself. This is just as important as spending time with others. I learnt to enjoy my own company again since being caught up in uni life and familiarity in Manchester. I think doing an activity on your own, even if it’s in the confront of your room or in a new part of town helped me to build confidence and a sense of place. Study abroad taught me that it is okay to go to places on your own. This sounds simple but I know a lot may struggle with social anxiety or general fear of uncertainty. Overcoming that meant that I learnt how to enjoy my own company and do more of what I actually wanted instead of what others expected of me.
I solo travelled for the first time to Luxembourg for three days and it was one of the highlights of my whole time there. I ate in a restaurant by myself, walked to tourist landmarks, and made friends with locals. The lesson was in being able to listen to my own thoughts, feelings and honour my desire to travel. Reaching that comfort level made me release all external pressure and tap into what make the experience most enjoyable. At the end of the day, it’s your study abroad journey, and no one else’s, so don’t be afraid to get to know yourself all over again.
Whether you have just returned from study abroad, or are still in the period of deciding if it is right for you, this article can give more insight on the key takeaways from study abroad, both positive and negative.