Starting university can be overwhelming enough without the added pressure of maintaining your sobriety in what can feel like a 24/7 drinking culture. If you’re heading to university sober, or in recovery, you might be wondering how you’ll get through Freshers Week when it seems like everyone around you is drinking right from the start. According to a survey in 2022, 81% of respondents believed that drinking and getting drunk are a big part of university culture, and 53% reported drinking alcohol more than once a week (Drug and Alcohol Impact, 2022). So if you’re feeling the pressure, that’s completely understandable. The drinking culture at university is real.
But, despite the stereotype, not everyone at uni drinks heavily. According to this survey, research has shown that 78% of respondents say they don’t need to get drunk to have a good night out. I can speak from my own experience when I say that some of my most memorable times at university have been sober: impromptu film nights, random trips to the Peak District. It is entirely possible to have an amazing time and not touch a drop of alcohol.
Being sober at university is absolutely doable, and it’s definitely one of the best decisions I’ve made. I won’t lie and say it’s easy all the time – it can be a little awkward being the only sober person in the room, but I’ve always managed to make it work. I’ve learnt a lot over the past year, so here’s my advice for staying sober at uni.
1. Preparing to stop drinking
Before you start university, it’s best to make yourself aware of what you’re getting into. Sometimes, it’s as simple as a quick TikTok search of your uni and seeing what people have to say about the social scene. I remember feeling so panicked, frantically scrolling, convinced I was going to be the only sober person there. But much to my relief, I found lots of people in the same boat! There were people sharing tips, experiences, and proof that you can thrive at university without drinking. It’s so refreshing to see that it’s far more common than you think, and knowing that other sober students exist (and are having a great time) is incredibly reassuring.
Thinking about why you’re doing this is also important for preparation. Having a clear reason to stay sober will help you stick to your decision when it comes to arriving at university. One thing that is super important to note: you don’t have to tell people your why. It might be personal, or you might just not want to, and that’s okay. However, what I would recommend is having some go-to answers for if someone asks why you’re not drinking. If you don’t want to tell people the real reason, having some phrases like “No, thank you, I’m not feeling it tonight”, or “I’m okay with this, thank you”, locked and loaded, ready to go, are very useful for when you feel a bit put on the spot. Remember, you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
Another important step to preparing is, if you need it, researching/reaching out to your university’s support systems. It’s very well-known that there is a big drinking culture at uni, so there will be a wellbeing team ready for those who are needing help. For example, I am a Sheffield Hallam student and they have a page dedicated to support services for drugs and alcohol – there are links to online courses, apps, and people you can speak to if you’re concerned. Making yourself familiar with these services will be a huge help to you.
2. Find your people (there are a lot)
I’ve met a variety of people at university with all sorts of drinking habits – some drink regularly, some occasionally, some not at all. What matters most is that I’ve found friends who don’t pressure or push me to drink. And honestly, that shouldn’t make me lucky. Respecting someone’s choice not to drink is the bare minimum. I am lucky to have the friends I do, but for so many other reasons beyond the fact that they don’t peer pressure me. Finding your people, the ones who respect your boundaries without question, is key. It’s important to get into the mindset that it is not optional for friends to not respect your boundaries, it is a fundemental part of the relationship you build with them. If they don’t respect your boundaries, they don’t respect you; it is not a healthy relationship, and it makes your experience at university much more difficult.
You can look for friends in so many ways that don’t require alcohol, for example, societies based on your interests. Whether that’s sport, music, film – there are so many opportunities, and it is not obligatory to attend clubbing socials if they have them, you can easily make friends at the sober socials, and have a good time!
Similarly, if you’re making friends in other ways, like in lectures, the library, or through societies, suggest plans that don’t revolve around alcohol from the start. Go to a cute cafe, have film nights, and go shopping. By setting this precedent early, you’re building friendships based on shared interests, rather than drinking. You’ll naturally discover what you both enjoy doing together, which means that down the line, you’ll know what to do with each other for fun that doesn’t require alcohol at all.
3. Set your boundaries
Firstly, setting boundaries with yourself is important – figure out what you do and don’t enjoy. Then put this into practice by avoiding situations you know won’t work for you. Don’t push yourself to attend things just because you feel you should. Yes, university is a time to step out of your comfort zone and try new things, but that doesn’t mean forcing yourself into situations you know you’ll hate or that might trigger you.
You don’t have to go to everything. There’s this persistent idea about FOMO – that if you miss out on one event, you’ll somehow fall behind socially. But the truth is, you’ll never be able to attend everything anyway. Go to the things you’ll genuinely enjoy. Being miserable at an event is far worse than the temporary discomfort of missing out.
Speaking of discomfort, you have to get comfortable with saying no. This includes at your first pres, even when everyone expects you to drink. Again, it’s about setting a precedent early. If you make people aware from the start, as subtly or as openly as you like, that you don’t drink, it becomes so much easier down the line. People will learn your boundaries and stop offering.
And finally, prioritise yourself over seeming polite. If you’re at an event and feel uncomfortable, just leave. If you’re worried you’re somewhere that’s going to harm the boundaries you have set, it is more than okay to put yourself first and get out of there. Most people will understand if you explain later on, but you don’t owe anyone an explanation. All that matters is keeping yourself safe and comfortable.
4. Find alternatives to drinking alochol
Remember, Fresher’s Week is just one week. After that, the novelty of going out constantly tends to wear off for a lot of people – it did for me and my friends. We found an abundance of alternative activities that didn’t involve drinking. There’s so much to do, especially in a new city during what might be your first real taste of independence. One thing we didn’t expect to do so often? IKEA trips! An affordable meal, a fun afternoon playing house in the mock-up kitchens. Honestly, it’s brilliant. Get creative with it.
This isn’t to say we avoid going out entirely. I know some people choose to skip the clubs altogether, but for those like me who still go out on occasion without drinking, find your alternative drink! Mine isn’t creative – just an ice-cold lemonade – but I get just as excited for that as my friend does for her double vodka Coke. There are mocktails you could try, or even just a standard juice. Having a go-to drink gives you something to hold and means you can still join in drinking games. My friends all roll their eyes (playfully, of course) when I get the waterfall card in Ring of Fire, knowing I’ve only got water in my cup that I can down far easier and longer than they can manage their drinks. Sometimes it becomes a running joke, and that’s fun. It makes me feel more included. But again, if that’s not your thing, set boundaries!
5. Remember why you’re doing this
From my own experience, I’ve seen some students drink a lot and then make questionable decisions. Tale as old as time. For some people, they don’t mind this – it’s for the plot, it’s just a bit of fun. But for me, I feel I am building a university experience I will remember and be proud of. Not just the academic side of things, but the social side. I will be proud that I made genuine friends, and have done so many things I’d never done before, all without drinking.
Remembering why you’re doing this is fundamental. Whether your reason is because of your health, religion, past experiences, or simply not fancying it, it is what will keep you grounded. On difficult nights, and there will be some, come back to that reason. Because there will be moments when staying sober feels harder than giving in: when everyone’s pre-drinking and you feel awkward, when people keep asking “are you sure?”. Let it remind you that you’re not missing out, you’re choosing something better for yourself. It’s not boring or uptight, it’s self-awareness and strength. You’re doing something really brave, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
Looking back on my first year of university, staying sober is one of the best decisions I made. It might seem really daunting, but stay true to yourself and everything will fall into place. And honestly? That’s it, that’s the whole thing. Prepare, find your people, stick to your guns, and live life on your own terms. It will be challenging, but there are people and causes there to support you. If you’re struggling and need help, here are some resources: