Is it normal not to make friends at uni?

Starting university is said to be one of the most exciting and social periods of your life. Movies, TV shows, and social media often depict groups of students making tight-knit friend circles, attending lots of parties, and having lots of experiences of a lifetime with other students. However, for other students, university can feel isolating and they may find it harder to make friends at uni. If you find yourself struggling to make friends at uni, you might question if it’s normal. The answer is yes, it’s normal, and you are definitely not alone in this experience.

Instant friendships are a myth

A lot of people go to university with the expectation that they’ll make friends straight away. While some people manage this, it isn’t necessarily the case for everybody. The idea that everyone makes friends instantly in university is a myth that creates unneeded pressure and feelings of inadequacy. Forming meaningful friendships takes time, and also relies on different factors such as personality, interests, and social skills.

For some students, friendships occur more naturally because they’re extroverted or have strong social skills. Others might take more time to find people they really connect with. Those who are shy, introverted, or have social anxiety find it more challenging to put themselves out there and make new friends. This doesn’t mean that you won’t make friends at uni! It just might take longer than expected

The Sprout have a good article on not ‘fitting in’ at uni and how common it is, which really does remind you that it is normal to not make friends at university.

The challenges of making friends

1. Different schedules and commitments: Unlike school, universities don’t have the same structured timetable, students also don’t interact with the same group of people daily. University offers more independence. Different timetables, workloads, and societies mean that people might not be able to see each other that often, making it harder to develop friendships naturally.

2.  Large Classes: At university, particularly in big lectures, it is easy to feel like just another face in the crowd. Unlike smaller school classrooms, where students interact frequently, large lecture halls can make it difficult to connect with classmates.

3. Living Situations Some students make friends in university accommodation, but this is not guaranteed. If you live at home or in a quieter residence, you may not have as many social opportunities as those in shared halls.
4. Social Anxiety and Shyness If you are naturally introverted or experience social anxiety, approaching new people and starting conversations can feel intimidating. The fear of rejection or awkward interactions may prevent you from putting yourself out there.
5. Cultural or Language Barriers International students or those from different cultural backgrounds may struggle with language barriers or cultural differences, making it harder to connect with peers.

See here for our tips on making friends outside of accommodation.

Coping with loneliness and isolation

If you are struggling to make friends at university, it is important to know that you are not alone. Many students experience loneliness at some point in their university journey. Here are some ways to cope:

1. Make sure you’re being kind to yourself. Accept that making friends takes time and that it is okay to feel lonely. Avoid comparing yourself to others, as everyone’s social experience at university is different.
2. Join clubs and societies to stay social. One of the best ways to meet like-minded people is to join student clubs and societies. Whether you are interested in sports, music, gaming, or volunteering, there is likely a group where you can meet people with similar interests.
3. Attend some of the social events or workshops hosted on campus. Many universities organise social events, networking sessions, and workshops to help students connect. Even if socialising feels uncomfortable, attending these events can provide opportunities to meet new people in a structured setting.
4. Engage in small interactions – friendships often begin with small interactions. A simple “hello” to a classmate, starting a conversation about coursework, or sitting next to the same people in lectures can gradually build connections.
5. Consider a specific study group which can be a great way to bond with classmates over shared academic interests. This not only helps with learning but also provides a way to interact regularly with peers.
6. Use online forums, social media groups, or apps designed for students to connect, which most unis have already. Engaging with these platforms can help you find people who share your interests or are in the same course as you. See our list of apps for finding friends at uni!
7. Get support if you feel it’s affecting you. If feelings of loneliness persist and begin affecting your mental health, consider seeking support from university counselling services. Talking to a professional can help you navigate these emotions and develop strategies to build connections. Websites such as Mind also have a range of support for those who need it.

Accepting it’s ok and normal not to have a big circle

Not everyone thrives in large social groups, and that is perfectly okay. Some people prefer a few close friends rather than a wide circle of acquaintances. The pressure to be constantly social at university is often exaggerated, and quality of friendships matters more than quantity. It is important to embrace your personal social style and not feel pressured to fit into societal expectations.

Moreover, friendships at university are not the only important relationships in life. Many people find that they build stronger connections later in their studies, through work, or even after university. Friendships also evolve—some may be temporary, while others last a lifetime.

If you have not made friends at university yet, do not be discouraged. It is entirely normal, and it does not define your university experience or your ability to form meaningful relationships. Everyone’s social journey is different, and friendships can develop in unexpected ways over time. Focus on your personal growth, engage in activities that interest you, and be open to new experiences. Whether you make one close friend or simply build connections gradually, what matters most is that you find relationships that feel authentic and fulfilling.

Here’s some of our tips for what to do if you feel lonely at university.