Coming to university means learning to fend for yourself: paying rent, cooking your own meals, tidying up after yourself, and making many, many, MANY mistakes along the way. Some people prefer to keep their embarrassing stories a secret, whilst others have absolutely no shame in letting everyone into theirs. However, if it wasn’t for these people, we wouldn’t have such golden forms of entertainment outside of our classes. Published anonymously via the Crushminster Instagram, we have compiled the most outrageous and (slightly) bizarre University of Westminster confessions for you all to have a nosy at.
Warning: reader discretion is advised.
1. Starting off strong, we think the confession enough speaks for itself
So little information yet so many questions. All we can say is: do you have a flavour preference?
2. Shrek is love, Shrek is life
We dread to think about what donkey would have to say about this.
3. Maybe not every hole is a goal?
Better than being sober? At least it wasn’t ENTIRELY your fault.
4. Sometimes it’s better out than in my friend
Andrex do some great wet wipes, just fyi.
5. The student diet never ceases to amaze us
That must’ve been one hell of a kitchen nightmare.
6. Is butter a carb?
Let’s hope this isn’t a shoutout to gran.
7. From the bottom of our hearts, we hope she’s doing well now
Turns out some fetishes aren’t for everyone, but at least you didn’t follow through.
8. Not really the kind of shitfaced you want to be
There is no recovery from this, we’re sorry.
9. What’s the story, morning glory
We can guarantee that he had a VERY good day in the office.
10. Round of applause for the confidence
Sightseeing: student edition.
11. Simple and straight to the point is the way forward
Make a group chat. You’re welcome.
12. Alexa play WAP by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion
Someone get this girl a new flatmate. Now. Please.
13. As long as it’s legal, that’s your business
Do you have a picture? Asking for a friend…
14. Think it’s time for a relationship my friend
Sounds like a you problem to be honest.
15. Short, sweet and not so subtle
Just a quick tip: do not try this at home for risk of a black eye, non-stop evil glares and a hell of a good night out.
So there was definitely a running theme of vomit, poo and stalking throughout these confessions, and unfortunately, these are just a handful of the hundreds that are available for reading pleasure. Just remember: there’s always someone who will have it worse than you, and chances are it’s already on Crushminster.