At university, you’re very likely to be young, relatively hot and single. And with the array of people you’ll meet, there’s that possibility you’ll find someone you think is “the one”. 20% of British students believe they found the love of their life. But is that seriously a thing? Do uni couples last? Here’s my take on this common question from university students.
The first person probably won’t last
I’ll speak from experience when I say that the first person you meet in the first semester of first year won’t last. I might know what you’re thinking: “But what if it does?” Maybe it will — it’s all case-by-case — but nine times out of ten, you will drift apart. This is for many reasons: you could be totally different than you thought; you could find a major red flag or ick; you could have different schedules…
These are all perfectly valid reasons. It’s all understandable too. Everyone is experiencing their new-found freedom and exploring their identities. While you explore you identity, you constantly change as a person as do the people around you. These are normal things to expect when navigating uni life. If the first person you meet is the one, then that’s amazing! If not, then don’t be disheartened, most uni couples who met later in their uni years were more likely to last.
Uni relationships require work (like all relationships)
Here’s the thing: uni couples are close together. They are likely to be in the same courses or friend groups (or met in a social setting such as a nightclub). They study, they hang out on the same campus, they live in the local area during the academic year. The closeness of it all is very convenient. However, it changes when you’ve both graduated and you’re out there in the workforce, potentially going long-distance if you return to your home cities. According to research, about 12.17% of reported students who met their partner at uni are married compared to the 35.63% of all the students who met a romantic partner. Once again, distances and differences are the main reasons why uni couples break up.
Any romantic relationship requires some work. This include strong communication, shared goals and adaptability through sudden life-changes. Uni couples can last, even after graduation, as long as you both put in the work. Establish what your goals and needs are first hand before you pursue something serious. Do your goals align? Can you make time for each other? Will you establish balances with the relationship and other life committments?
High school relationships can last too
It might be possible that the first sentence of this article isn’t entirely right. You’re young and relatively hot… But you’re not single. There’s someone back at home and you’re going to do long distance with them. Good news for you, long-distance relationships are very common amongst university students. In fact, in one survey, 60% of reported long distance relationships worked out in the long-term. So what’s the secret?
It’s almost the same as I’ve said before. Communication is a big deal when doing long-distance. Making sure you have the same goals is important too — 66% of these relationships don’t work because they didn’t plan for the future. Finally, surviving the big changes, like university itself, helps you strengthen your bond. Some students will visit their partner up to two times a month. (If they wanted to, they really would.) If you’re considering a long-distance relationship with your high-school partner, consider ways to make long-distance easier.
The overarching message: it’s whatever you put into it
I cannot give you hope that the one you spend the rest of you life with is in your lecture hall. Nor will it be that person you kissed during that night out. Take into consideration that it is your time and experience at university. There should be no pressure to pursue anything romantic. But if you do pursue a romantic relationship, and you see something long-term, establish if your relationship is going towards a serious or casual route. If it is serious, then consider your feelings and future goals. At the end of the day, being in a relationship is about growing together rather than apart. For now: work on your first date chat — it’ll be the thing that helps you gain a relationship.
