If you’re an introvert, there’s a good chance that you may worry about making friends at university. What if you end up in a class where everyone is friends? Or if you don’t get along with your flatmates? Will you be alone for the next three years? These doubts float through every fresher’s mind at least once. So let me ease your mind and tell you some ways to make friends at uni if you’re shy.
The golden rule: just say yes!
This sounds easier said than done, but half of your stories come from that person you met at that one event at uni (or that one embarrassing thing you did that your new friends will never let go). Throwing yourself into the deep end is the most terrifying but the most effective way to make friends at uni if you’re shy. My best example: once, a girl I just met at a society event invited me to go clubbing with her friends. This would lead to me meeting some great people I talk to now. Was it scary going by myself? Of course it was. However, anything goes when you say yes!
Look into uni events and society events
Most universities will have events one way or another to help you make friends at uni if you’re shy. Some events are set up by teams within the uni, like the health and wellbeing team or residential halls teams. If you’re unsure of where to start, I believe it is worth checking these out. These events are also typically sober events, something I found very useful when I first started – that’s how I met my best friend at uni! If you’re looking for a night out, check out Freshers Fair stalls promoting the main student clubbing nights for your university.
Personally, joining an array of societies helped me meet a range of people. The great thing about societies is that you can join ones that cater towards your interests. Whether that be sports, arts, charity work, specific music genres or even Taylor Swift, societies help you meet like-minded people who are easier to befriend. To extend yourself that little bit further, try a society you might not go for at first. Again, it doesn’t have to work out for you. The university experience is more about exploring your own identity and figuring out what makes you feel comfortable as a shy person. (Another point to make: don’t worry if you don’t go to a society taster event during freshers week, you can join a society at any point!)
Explore communities outside of uni
Maybe you’re late into the year and you’ve done what you can to make friends at uni as a shy person. You’ve tried to befriend your flatmates, you’ve tried to sit next to people in your seminars and you’ve tried some societies. Another way to make friends at uni is to make them outside of it. For example, you could find part-time work or volunteering within the local area. Chances are that some of your colleagues are around your age and studying too! There might also be events in your area that let you meet with other people. Apps like Meetup can find events in your local area which you can filter based on your interests. Even Facebook has groups which you can join for those who are finding new friends. From run clubs to film marathons, you’d be surprised at what you can find!
If the idea of walking up to someone cold feels too intense, there are some apps and tools that can do the heavy lifting for you:
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Facebook Groups – Find ones for your course, accommodation, or uni societies.
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WhatsApp or Discord chats – These are often created by flatmates, seminar groups, or society members.
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Meetup – Browse local events by interest, whether it’s hiking, coding, or book clubs.
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Bumble BFF – Like a dating app, but for making new friends nearby.
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Eventbrite – Discover talks, creative workshops, or fun community activities in your area.
Here are some more apps for making friends at uni to help you get socialising asap!
Make the first move—In low-stakes ways
If you’re shy, the idea of starting a conversation might make your stomach flip. But making the first move doesn’t have to mean launching into full-on small talk with a stranger. Start small. Compliment someone’s outfit, ask a classmate if they understood the last bit of the lecture, or even drop a casual message in your course group chat like, “Anyone want to grab a coffee before class?” These kinds of low-stakes moments are often the foundation of stronger friendships later on. You don’t need to be bold — just a little open.
Shy doesn’t mean socially inept
Let’s get something clear: being shy doesn’t mean you’re bad at making friends. It just means you need more time to feel comfortable. And that’s totally okay. In fact, shy people often make the best friends — they tend to be great listeners, more empathetic, and deeply loyal once connections form. So if you’ve been feeling like your quieter nature is a social disadvantage, flip the narrative. You’ve got strengths that others will value.
Quick reminder: everyone feels the same
While you might see the big friend groups on social media having a great time, it is good to have a quick reminder that, actually, everyone has felt lonely at some point. In fact, nearly all students say they felt lonely at least once during the 2023/2024 academic year according to research by the UK Government. Half of these students worry about being judged for feeling this way! My advice generally is to not feel ashamed if you struggle to make friends at uni if you’re shy. I understand that making friends is easier said than done. Always reach out to your support network — family, friends at home or even your university’s wellbeing services — if your feelings of loneliness are severe. And remember, even if it looks like someone has a lot of friends, they might be feeling lonely too.
