When I was eleven, I went away on a summer camp for seven whole days – I was about an hour from home, but it was the longest I’d ever been away from my family. I was excited, terrified, and overwhelmingly homesick.
Flashforward seven years, and there I was again, feeling the same terror and anticipation. Except this time, it wasn’t a temporary trip with a return date; I was starting university. I quickly came to realise that the workload, independence, and meeting new people weren’t the only things I would face, but also homesickness. Not just missing my family and my house, but the routines – the familiar walks, the same shops I would always go to, the bus route I took every weekend.
Moving to a new place can be so disorientating, because all of those things change. You have to find new walks and bus routes, and navigate shops that are laid out so differently you can’t find the cheese.
Homesickness is normal
To begin, it’s important to acknowledge that being homesick is normal, expected even. If you’re moving away for the first time, to a new place with new people, you are bound to feel overwhelmed and miss what you’re used to. In fact, in a survey by the National Union of Students (NUS), 70% of new students reported feeling homesick. So yes, it is a very normal reaction for this big life change you’re going through.
What isn’t always expected, though, is when the homesickness shows up. I know that for me, personally, when I first moved to university, I was so excited and practically pushed my crying family out of my new bedroom. I was ready to decorate and start my new life. Those first few nights, I didn’t feel homesick at all, but it soon crept up in the weirdest of ways, like when I realised I didn’t know how to cook and my dad wasn’t there to do it for me. Or, when I walked to my first day of lectures and realised this was my new walk to school, and not the one I did every single day for 10 years with my childhood best friend.
But the point is, it is normal. And it appears in the mundane, normal things in life, and you’re not alone. People might not be talking about it, but the majority of people are thinking and feeling the same, experiencing homesickness in their own sort of way.
Decorate your room
Decorating my room is the first thing I did when I got there, and it absolutely helped me take my mind off things. My room came with a pin board, as a lot of student accomodations do, and I filled it to the brim with pictures of my friends and family. Do whatever it takes to make your room feel homely. Whether that’s making it identical to your old room or picking a new theme. Cover the bed in cosy blankets, fill the shelves with books and trinkets, and bring your favourite teddies!
Whilst everything else around can feel so new and unfamiliar, having a room that feels like you, with things that might remind you of home, can be so grounding. Being able to decorate how you like gives you a sense of control at a time where it kind of feels like you’ve lost your hands at the wheel. It creates a space for you to go to when things at university get a little overwhelming. Whilst this might not instantly cure homesickness, it certainly helps you to feel more settled, which is a big step in the right direction.
Make plans to visit home
Making plans is an obvious but important part of getting over homesickness at university. Having regular plans to go home (or even having your family and friends come to visit you) gives you something to look forward to and will make your homesickness less intense. If you’re planning on doing this, it’s definitely worth making sure there is a public transport route that you can take, just in case you don’t have a car.
Arrange a weekly call
So, let’s say you have moved away and going back home isn’t possible. Arranging regular calls with your family and friends is a fantastic way to keep in contact, and can help massively with feelings of homesickness at university. Having regular calls will help you feel closer to home, even if you can’t be there. It also doesn’t just have to be a call. You could do a quiz, or play an online game such as Scrabble or Pictionary (there are so many options), as long as it works for you!
The regular facetime calls with my sister helped me so much at the start of university. It made things feel just slightly normal again until I got used to things.
Go and meet people!
University is a fresh start to meet so many new, amazing people, and it is one of the few opportunities where pretty much everyone is in the same boat: slightly scared, slightly homesick, and slightly lonely. Meeting new people, wherever that may be, is a great way to take your mind off feeling homesick. It means you have people to do things with if you need distracting, and have someone to talk to if you are having a particularly bad day.
The friends I made in Freshers Week were such a breath of fresh air during a time that is new and different; I had people to go out with, and people to talk to about my home. Talking about it makes things easier; it helps you to put things into perspective and keeps them close to your heart.
Find your support services
Every university has mental health support services, and this can also cover any feelings you might be having about homesickness. There’s a team of people who are there to help you and talk to you. You don’t have to wait until things are overwhelming to reach out; if you’re feeling slightly down or very homesick, they’re there for you.
Universities take in thousands of students every year, some struggle with moving away, some don’t, the point is, they have these services in place because they’re prepared for people who might be struggling more with this transition period.
Give it time
University is a big life change; it’s common to feel unsettled – if you’ve lived at home for so long, moving to a new place, without the people you were with all that time, is going to feel distressing. Over time, your feelings will change.
For some people, the homesickness might vanish, for others it will become manageable, and that’s all that matters. The first couple of weeks are always the hardest, but you’ll notice a shift. Maybe when you start to develop routines that become the norm, or when you discover hidden gems in your university town that become a frequent spot, things will start to feel a bit more normal.
It’s always going to be different; it won’t be the exact same as things used to be, and that homesickness might linger. But, whilst it may be uncomfortable, that homesickness is sweet in a way. You come from a place that is worth missing so much – it doesn’t mean you’re not suited to university life, it just means you came from a place you loved, with people you felt connected to. And over time, little by little, university can become a place you feel just as connected to. Hang in there!
